How many times have you said, “I’m fine” in response to the question, “How are you?”
This drawing by a client shows how compartmentalizing real feelings behind “fine” can create the illusion of being in control.
Why say, “I’m fine”, when you are not?
Sometimes it can seem safer to hide behind the mask of “I’m fine”, instead of facing the reality of what you are really experiencing. Maybe you give yourself convincing arguments such as: “My life is great! I’ve got a good job, loving relationships and a nice place to live. Why am I so unhappy (fearful, anxious or angry)?”
Some people say it because it is their defense. They are in denial. It can sometimes be scary to admit the truth of how you really feel.
Others are like an emotional geyser, gushing to anyone with ears all about how they are feeling. These eruptions keep folks chained to their pain making little room for the authentic “fine” to get a word in edgewise.
Perhaps you sometimes say, “I’m fine”, because you think it will help make the person who’s asking feel better, not worry, or absolved from the obligation to help. “I know I’m not fine but I don’t want to bother anyone about it.”
Like in the shattered pieces above, we hide our brokenness with this simple, universally acceptable response.
However, emotions contain strong and subtle energy within them. As Einstein’s theory of relativity states: energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but can change form.
Emotions, as energy, can be transformed and change their form through experiences with music and other expressive arts such as drawing, writing and movement.
Moving emotional energy in these creative ways help you to find your authentic self (the YOU that you were created to be) that is truly fine.
I have named three ways to change negative energy to find your authentic “fine”:
Identify, Express and Release.
Identify: What emotions are you honestly feeling? Name them all, even those that you do not want to admit to. Get in a quiet space, close your eyes and allow emotions to surface to your conscious awareness. For ideas, look at the picture above, or consult an emotional chart online.
Express: Give the emotions a voice, movement, words, pictures, poetry, story, or dance it out, by playing music associated with the emotions. Allow the energy of the music to move through you as you listen. What music is in line with your emotional state? What music matches what you’d like to feel? For more about music and entrainment, click the video here.
Release: When you move emotional energy through music listening and creative expression, you change their negative power over you, and become more in touch with your authenticity hidden in the shadows. Check out my affordable, downloadable programs for step-by-step guidance in this process.
I work with individuals and groups through music therapy, art, movement, and energy work. By identifying, expressing and releasing emotions, you can discover layers that lead you into an exciting process of self-discovery, freeing you from past pain and connecting you with more joy, hope and the truth of who you really are.
In other words, helping you find your authentic “fine”!